Who is Indispensable?

Over the past few decades, the meaning of success started being equated to a career that yields high monetary return. In time, this definition morphed to having a job in mega-sized corporates which have huge net worth, irrespective of whether the income is good enough or not. The disproportionate idolization of cerebral superiority has wreaked havoc to our society. A job with a desk at office or home is preferred over physical activity. Employment is preferred over entrepreneurship. In addition, the way technology has moved has reduced the need for physical exertion and has made men physically weak.

To make things worse, the race spilled over to women with feminism which makes women assume that they become better as they do the same things that are done by men. Not only do women seek to attain the same educational qualifications as their male counterparts but they also look at the natural abilities and inclinations of women with contempt and disrespect. A career woman is always spoken of highly while those who do not pursue a career are treated like liabilities. Thus, both men and women seem to be pursuing the same things and often even doing the same things. These things are driven purely by monetary gain alone.

Now, this reflects hugely on how people perceive education. Predominantly every course is designed for males and the females who pursue these courses and the careers that they offer are held in high esteem. As far as Bhāratīya society is concerned, we have been very clear on the natural inclinations, abilities and needs of either gender; our society gives due importance to these things with social duties and responsibilities assigned accordingly.

Further to this, migration out of our villages to towns, from towns to cities and from cities to foreign lands has created havoc in our social fabric. This tendency has accentuated the breakdown of joint families. Now, the younger generation deems it a right to live away from parents and in-laws even within the same town or city simply because such precedence exists. Large cities with huge numbers of young migrant population tend to collapse culturally. This is because the migrants often earn well while living away from their parents and elders. With neither economic pressure to fulfil nor family structure to keep them rooted, they tend to fritter their energies in things that provide short-term pleasures. This dangerous trend is facilitated and promoted by many agencies that benefit from such behaviour which include businesses, social narratives that have vested political interest and other such forces. This core population-shift driven social and administrative problem requires policy intervention and has been spoken about in my article titled, ‘We plan for Smart Cities, What about Vibrant Villages?’ in an earlier issue of this journal.

With so many things that have gone wrong, life seems meaningless except when some externally stimulated activity is involved. Such activities can give a sense of happiness and satisfaction that last just for a short while and so, in time, these become meaningless. Feeling disconnected with life is quite common not merely among the younger generation but also among those who are presently middle-aged. When everyone around thinks and does the same things that everyone else is doing, what is the scope for independent wisdom to work? Is there a way to lead life wisely?

Of course, restoring our family traditions would be ideal and prescribed by all wise people. However, we require something that would support the youth of the day to be able to live culturally rooted under such hostile conditions. One way is to determine the dispensable and indispensable natures of the roles that we play. This is not an absolute solution, but it will help to a large extent in getting clarity of mind.

Here is a diagram to help find out if you are indispensable or not.

Illustration 1: Must a woman who holds a highly influential and well-paying job in a company give it up when she has a young child to take care of? Of course, she must do it and take care of the toddler child as it is a crucial developmental phase in which the mother’s role is foremost. She may study the situation and decide to get back to work after this.

Illustration 2: Must a woman who holds a low paying job and comes from a low economic family give up the job when she has a young child at home? Since her earnings are important for the family’s well-being, she might not be able to give up her job. However, she might explore possibilities of finding a job that might help her to accommodate more time with her child. Some of these include work-from-home jobs, jobs that allow toddlers to be close to the mother etc.

Illustration 3: Must a man whose wife is at home taking care of the child assume that the woman will fulfil all parental duties towards the child? No, the presence of the father is indispensable for the child. He must fulfil them and not assume that the mother’s presence is enough.

The above are only hypothetical situations with ideal solutions; there certainly are situations where the parents might not be able to play their role fully. Abject poverty, single parents, huge financial responsibilities and other obligations and situations would hamper parents from making the ideal choice. All the same, they must still be aware that they are indispensable. This awareness will help them to keep themselves open to better themselves as parents and as members of the family.

To put things in perspective, one is indispensable while playing the role of a family member. It this is done well, then many of the confusions and problems that plague the minds of our people would go away. Staying rooted to our families is the key to a successful life. If we keep our people reminded of this truth, Bhārata will continue to remain strong.

Jai Hind!